Tips to improve self awareness

Self awareness is required to achieve balance in our lives

True self confidence and self esteem are necessary to live a balanced and fulfilled life.

We are unable to be resilient in times of stress without it.

Self awareness is required to achieve balance in our lives which flows into all other areas of our lives and has a positive impact on achieving the eternally searched for confidence.

Tips to improve self awareness:

1. Remember that it takes an enormous amount of energy to constantly worry about things. Recognise the bodily symptoms of your fear and worry. Notice when your breathing shortens or your chest tightens, become aware of what your body is telling you and then choose to stop it. Continued stress and worry debilitates your ability to think logically, choose to stay in control. This will eliminate that feeling of incompetence or helplessness, and thereby empower you.
2. Talk less and listen more, seek first to understand and then to be understood. Ask people questions about themselves . You will hear and understand more that way and people will seek your company and your opinion more often. This will make you realise that you have value.
3. In doing something for the first time, imagine that you have already done it in the past. Close your eyes and imagine that you have succeeded already. The mind is unable to differentiate between perception and reality, so make it real. Involve all your 5 senses when doing this exercise and the goal will seem closer.
4. Practice positive self talk, stop knocking yourself. Self criticism is more damaging to esteem, than criticism from another person. Criticising your looks, your body shape, your hair, your abilities and your personality is harmful. You wouldn’t think that this is a decent way to treat others, so make it totally unacceptable for you to treat yourself this way. Be kind to yourself, respect yourself and never ever beat yourself up. .) Disarm the nagging, negative internal voice. Imagine that your negative internal voice is Mickey Mouse at top volume. Lower the volume and remember that you would not take Mickey Mouse seriously if he were criticising you.
5. Develop stable confident friends who believe in themselves. Surround yourselves with quality people who will see the best in you. Be careful of being the big fish in the small pond. Seeking people who are less confident and ambitious than yourself enables you to hide your light away instead of shining it.
6. Improve your knowledge on self matters by reading self help books and keeping a daily journal. Becoming aware of your feelings on a daily basis enables you to pin-point toxic relationships or situations that damage your self esteem. The journal also assists you in identifying the things and people that make you feel positive.
7. Listen out for feeling words, your own and other people’s. This assists in self awareness.

Choosing a reputable Coach

These are my tips to test-drive your potential Coach

The world has some wonderful inspirational individuals who are successful in assisting you in developing yourself, your career and your financial status.  The sphere of Personal Development is increasingly under the spotlight as people realise that attitude comes from within.

The scary fact is that we will test-drive a car before investing our money, but we tend to take people at face value.  When in actual fact, investing in our self worth is far more important. The words “Life Skills Coach”, “Transformational Speaker”, or “Self help Specialist” do not automatically qualify someone as credible, or as someone who you should allow automatic access to your emotions.

We spend large amounts of time on research before choosing a wedding venue or a car dealership, yet we willy-nilly hand our emotions and/or personal selves over to a complete stranger.  Seeing someone’s face on adverts does not mean that they are worthy to be a custodian of your inner emotions or business growth.

The following are pointers for people seeking a committed relationship with a Coach or Personal Development Specialist. These are my tips to test-drive your potential Coach:

• Check their qualifications; confirm that they still have a business relationship with their trainer.  Have they maintained the criteria stipulated by their trainer on the use of their training materials and behaved in an ethical manner?  An emotionally mature person will maintain a respectful relationship with their trainer and will possibly regard them as a mentor.
• Have they built up a good brand name or do they constantly change their business identity.  Do a web search and see how successful they have been.  Remember to check on previous names or entities. A Coach is selling themselves, their emotional maturity and their problem solving skills.  If you are being guided by someone on an emotional level that has problematic relationships and battles to sustain projects, you will most likely see yourself sliding backwards.
• What community projects have they been involved in?  Have they stuck with them or moved on?  Have they achieved success with charity projects before or did the projects go wrong? Be cautious if the reason for the failure of the project is that it was lack of funding, lack of public faith, bad economy or bad business partners?  A coach will understand the business principles of planning and therefore would have researched all of those things before starting.
• Are they registered with a Coaching Association and are they accountable to an organisation? Will you have any recourse should anything go wrong?
• Are they using qualified people to run courses on their behalf?

I believe that it takes commitment and persistence work to build business and personal credibility, and the same can be said to achieve success.

The above questions will either ensure you that your new partner is the right person for the job, or have you reaching for your takkies pronto.

Business is actually all about people

Emotions drive people and people drive performance.

Since the beginning of our working careers we have known that work should remain separate from our personal lives.  You leave work at work, and home at home, and never the two shall meet.  Businesses have always lived by the credo that your personal life may not impact on your working day.

The reality however, is that businesses need people to turn the wheels of commerce, and people have feelings.  Individual relationships will create the corporate climate.  This means that the person who struggles to understand themselves or express themselves is going to need some development to enable them to manage and understand their emotions more effectively.   Emotions drive people and people drive performance.

Providing your staff members with access to these skills will ensure that they become resilient to life’s challenges and that the team becomes results focused. Bottom line productivity and financial feasibility improves when the team feels that who they are is important to the Company.

Businesses that develop their employees insights and skills, create collaborative teams, which reduces stress dramatically.

Companies then obtain the teams buy-in and improve their communication skills.

Conflict can be managed and can become productive.  People are able to strengthen themselves and then strengthen the team relationships. Up-skilling builds resilience and enables people to manage their home lives, social lives and financial affairs in a way that releases them to work more effectively.

Human Beings are ruled by Emotion

Team Building was traditionally used in the corporate world

Human beings are ruled by emotion, it defines who we are, how we work and how we interact. Emotions are our body’s way of talking to us. They tell us what we need to be healthy, happy and successful. When we suppress, ignore or use our emotions incorrectly, we risk ill-health, failure and unhappiness.  Emotional Intelligence is gaining recognition in the boardroom.

Is Team Building the answer?

Team Building was traditionally used in the corporate world as a plaster to cover a problem or as an excuse to party with company funds.

Trends have shifted in the last year as companies are tightening their belts and ensuring that their team activities offer sustained empowerment and not brief spurts of excitement.

There is a definite need to build relationships founded on mutual respect, and not short term stimulation. Resilience is required to cope in today’s times and that is the core skill that should be developed to ensure a strong motivated team.

The inclusion of activities that teach respectful communication will improve employee morale.

Can EQ be fostered?

The skills of Emotional Intelligence can be learned by anyone, at any time. But there is a difference between learning about emotional intelligence and applying the knowledge into your life.

In order to permanently change behavior in ways that stand up under pressure, you need to learn how to take advantage of the powerful emotional parts of the brain that remain active and accessible even in times of stress.

The business benefits of work-life balance

Increased productivity, mediated through the factors listed below, as well as:

The degree of control an employee has over their tasks impacts their effectiveness at work.

A 2003 study revealed that 49% of companies saw a positive increase in productivity (DTI, 2003).

Improved recruitment and retention:

• Labour turnover is expensive, both in terms of direct replacement costs and the loss of skills and knowledge.
• A DTI poll found all workers were interested in good work-life balance policies, but they are particularly important to carers, parents (mothers and fathers), graduates and older workers.

Lower rates of absenteeism:

Good work-life balance policies take account of long-term absence, the causes of stress and the needs of different groups.

Reduced overheads:

• An improved customer experience.
• A motivated, satisfied and equitable workforce.

A Poem that I love

So starts a poem that inspires profound self-reflection in the interest of revealing what is true, and discarding any distractions. It reveals the path to achieving peace by accepting what we cannot control or change. It is attributed, with some dispute, to Charlie Chaplin, written on the occasion of his 70th birthday.

As I Began To Love Myself

As I began to love myself I found that anguish and emotional suffering are only warning signs that I was living against my own truth. Today, I know, this is “AUTHENTICITY”.

As I began to love myself I understood how much it can offend somebody if I try to force my desires on this person, even though I knew the time was not right and the person was not ready for it, and even though this person was me. Today I call it “RESPECT”.

As I began to love myself I stopped craving for a different life, and I could see that everything that surrounded me was inviting me to grow. Today I call it “MATURITY”.

As I began to love myself I understood that at any circumstance, I am in the right place at the right time, and everything happens at the exactly right moment. So I could be calm. Today I call it “SELF-CONFIDENCE”.

As I began to love myself I quit stealing my own time, and I stopped designing huge projects for the future. Today, I only do what brings me joy and happiness, things I love to do and that make my heart cheer, and I do them in my own way and in my own rhythm. Today I call it “SIMPLICITY”.

As I began to love myself I freed myself of anything that is no good for my health – food, people, things, situations, and everything that drew me down and away from myself. At first I called this attitude a healthy egoism. Today I know it is “LOVE OF ONESELF”.

As I began to love myself I quit trying to always be right, and ever since I was wrong less of the time. Today I discovered that is “MODESTY”.

As I began to love myself I refused to go on living in the past and worrying about the future. Now, I only live for the moment, where everything is happening. Today I live each day, day by day, and I call it “FULFILLMENT”.

As I began to love myself I recognized that my mind can disturb me and it can make me sick. But as I connected it to my heart, my mind became a valuable ally. Today I call this connection “WISDOM OF THE HEART”.

We no longer need to fear arguments, confrontations or any kind of problems with ourselves or others. Even stars collide, and out of their crashing new worlds are born. Today I know “THAT IS LIFE”!